Using A Dildo (non-vibrating or vibrating)

Using A Dildo - How To Guide's For All Things Sex
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How to guide: Using a Dildo

Using a dildo is pretty much the same as using a vaginal vibrator… the only real difference is that a dildo is shaped like an erect penis, and a vibrator comes in a variety of smoothed shapes and colors. If you’ve already read our ‘How To Guide’s: Using A Vibrator’, you’ll notice that there are many repeats in this ‘how to guide’ as their use is more or less the same, so please bear with any repetition!

Please scroll down to the relevant heading below (Non-vibrating Dildo’s or Vibrating Dildo’s).

Non-vibrating Dildo’s

Step 1: Getting to know your Non-Vibrating Dildo

Firstly, take your new dildo out of its packaging. Inspect it with your fingertips, feeling around it to ensure that all the edges are smooth. If there are any bits that feel sharp, simply smooth them down with an emery board.

Once you’re happy with it, wash it well with bath soap or specialized toy cleaner. Your dildo should always be cleaned before and after use – we are very sensitive creatures and you don’t want to pick up any nasty infections! You can also use a condom over your dildo if you wish.


Step 2: Go at it alone

So, even if you have every intention of using your dildo with your partner, it’s very important to get to know how it works on your own first. By going at it alone, you can firstly get comfortable with how to use it, where you like it and how soft/hard you want it to move inside you. And secondly, this will help you to inform your husband what you like, and what works for you.

When you have some time to yourself (and you’re in the mood), start by slowly running your dildo along the lines of your body and over your skin. This will give you a good indication of how it feels before you move to your more sensitive bits.

Before you insert your dildo, there are two very important things to remember…

Firstly, you need to be well lubricated. If you haven’t produced enough of your own bodily fluids, try using a lubricant as this will assist in a smooth entry. If you haven’t used a lubricant before, please read our How To Guide’s: Using Lubricants.

Secondly, don’t be in a hurry… take things slow… Once you’ve inserted it, move it around for a while (this will help you identify which parts have more feeling, and which don’t). You can also try applying more pressure to the parts that have more feeling (this will be the G-Spot located just under the bladder halfway between the pubic bone & cervix, and the A-Spot located just to the side of the cervix). When you are ready, you can vary the speed at which you move it and the areas where you apply more pressure… take it slow… have fun… explore!

Most woman need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, as the clitoris is essentially a bundle of 8000 nerve fibers which makes it the most sensitive spot on our body! If internal vaginal stimulation gets you there, then lucky you (yes, we’re very jealous).

If you need a little more, we suggest using both a clitoral vibrator and a dildo simultaneously. It’s not always that easy to control both at the same time, especially with just 2 hands, but take your time and work out what works for you and what doesn’t!

Step 3: Clean it well

When you’ve had your fun, wash your dildo well, and make sure to pack it away where your kids can’t find it!

Also, very importantly, if you have a silicone dildo (most of them are), don’t store it together with a silicone based lubricant. Silicone has a nasty habit of morphing – a silicone based lubricant will want to become harder like your dildo and will start to solidify onto it, while your dildo will start to melt into the lubricant, leaving you with a sticky/melted cheese mess! The same goes for storing silicone sex toys together – they can start to morph together and you may end up with a giant mess! Always use a water based lubricant with silicone sex toys – it won’t cause any freaky science reactions!

Step 4: Have fun with your husband

Lastly, once you’re comfortable and confident with using a dildo, and what works for you, share it with your husband. You can simply do this by using one of our Sex Date Cards to “break the ice”, especially if you feel embarrassed to straight out say, “Hey, I want you to use a dildo on me!” Some dildo’s also have the added benefit of being able to clip into a harness. This can be loads of fun as a dildo never grows tired, and your husband can keep going with it for as long as you wish!

Vibrating Dildo’s

Step 1: Getting to know your Vibrating Dildo

Firstly, take your new dildo out of its packaging. It is important to check that it’s working properly while you’re still at the store you bought it from (yes…embarrassing right, but not all stores have a return policy).

If you bought it online, make sure that all the bits & bops are properly connected. If it’s the rechargeable type, put it on charge and check that it’s working after a couple of minutes. If it’s the disposable battery type, place some new batteries in it and check that it’s working. Make sure that if there’s a problem with it, you return it before you use it!

Once you have it working, play with the buttons to find out how many settings and speeds it has. Then inspect it with your fingertips, feeling around it to ensure that all the edges are smooth. If there are any bits that feel sharp, simply smooth them down with an emery board.

Once you’re happy that it’s in proper working order, wash it well with bath soap or specialized toy cleaner. If your dildo isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any of the electrical bits wet. Before using a dildo, you should always clean it well – we are very sensitive creatures and you don’t want to pick up any nasty infections! You can also use a condom over your dildo if you wish.

Step 2: Go at it alone

So, even if you have every intention of using a dildo with your husband, it’s very important to get to know how it works on your own first. By going at it alone, you can firstly get comfortable with how to use it, where you like it and how soft/hard you want it to move inside you. And secondly, this will help you to inform your husband what you like, and what works for you.

When you have some time to yourself (and you’re in the mood), start by slowly running your dildo along the lines of your body and over your skin. You can start with it being off, and as you run it over your skin, switch it on and go through the different settings or speeds. This will give you a good indication of how it feels before you move to your more sensitive bits.

Before using a dildo, there are two very important things to remember…

Firstly, you need to be well lubricated. If you haven’t produced enough of your own bodily fluids, try using a lubricant as this will assist in a smooth entry. If you haven’t used a lubricant before, please read our How To Guide’s: Using Lubricants.

Secondly, after you’ve experimented with the settings, turn your vibrating dildo off before using it on or in your vagina. Don’t be in a hurry… take things slow… Once you’ve inserted it, move it around while it’s still off (this will help you identify which parts have more feeling, and which don’t). You can also try applying more pressure to the parts that have more feeling (this will be the G-Spot located just under the bladder halfway between the pubic bone & cervix, and the A-Spot located just to the side of the cervix).

When you’re ready, turn your dildo on and slowly work through the different settings and speeds to see which you like, and which areas you like them in… take it slow… have fun… explore!

Most woman need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, as the clitoris is essentially a bundle of 8000 nerve fibers which makes it the most sensitive spot on our body! If internal vaginal stimulation gets you there, then lucky you (yes, we’re very jealous).

If you need a little more, we suggest using both a clitoral vibrator and a dildo simultaneously. It’s not always that easy to control both at the same time, especially with just 2 hands, but take your time and work out what works for you and what doesn’t!

Step 3: Clean it well

When you’ve had your fun, wash your dildo well, remove the batteries (if it’s battery operated) and make sure to pack it away where your kids can’t find it!

Also, very importantly, if you have a silicone dildo (most of them are), don’t store it together with a silicone based lubricant. Silicone has a nasty habit of morphing – a silicone based lubricant will want to become harder like your dildo and will start to solidify onto it, while your dildo will start to melt into the lubricant, leaving you with a sticky/melted cheese mess! The same goes for storing silicone sex toys together – they can start to morph together and you may end up with a giant mess! Always use a water based lubricant with silicone sex toys – it won’t cause any freaky science reactions!

Step 4: Have fun with your husband

Lastly, once you’re comfortable and confident with using a dildo, and what works for you, share it with your husband. You can simply do this by using one of our Sex Date Cards to “break the ice”, especially if you feel embarrassed to straight out say, “Hey, I want you to use a dildo on me!” Some dildo’s also have the added benefit of being able to clip into a harness. This can be loads of fun as a dildo never grows tired, and your husband can keep going with it for as long as you wish!

Most importantly, have fun exploring the endless bounds of your sexual relationship together.

The Sassy Wives Club team

Our blog posts & printable date night cards for adding dildo’s into foreplay

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Post updated on: 19 August 2019

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